gi jane!

Master Chief John Urgayle: Pain is your friend, your ally, it will tell you when you are seriously injured, it will keep you awake and angry, and remind you to finish the job and get the hell home. But you know the best thing about pain?

Lt. Jordan O'Neil: Don't know!

Master Chief John Urgayle: It lets you know you're not dead yet!

covered in stars

what is this thing that captivates others towards you?

i bet i could place twenty bucks down and ask each girl in every one of my classes whether she thinks your cute or not, and i would bet three girls in every room would think your cute.

id still have that twenty too. it basically makes me believe in wierd conspiracies and stupid darwin theories.

but what is it about you? i meen look at you, you're an asshole and you think you know the world by the back of your gorgeous hands. sorry, im honestly not trying to insult you or anything, i wouldn't say any of this if i didn't think you would say the same damn thing about yourself. how the hell did you find true love? really. you're so gorgeous and even though you're also hilarious and pretty much a genious, you're way too gorgeous to know the signs of a fake woman. at least, from the outside looking in thats how it appears. i meen in order to find "the one" you have to have that connection with someone, but also you have to know that whoever you like, likes you back. doesn't everyone like you?

i look forward to you making me laugh every single day।it is exhausting, and a waste of my time to let your beautiful eyes, and amazing jokes get to me.

यू ब्रिघ्तें माय एन्तिरे वर्ल्ड फॉर me

i'm without a doubt the boredest person alive as I write this.

Jenna is comming over later and we're going to fucking have a great time.

love,

amber

g

dear tuesday,

this family is going to fall apart after we move, and i know that is going to be the end of everything that i have learned and done the past three years of my life.

just down the drain over some stupid decision, made by who other than my own dad.

I said, "Dad, there are other people in this house, all who don't want to move. all who have carefully, and thoughtfully sorted through the postive and negative's of this decision.

Yet, the only opinion that matters is yours. you still have the chance to back out, yet you keep digging deeper.

You're making sure that we get this house, why?

When you know that this is what is going to destroy each and every one of us...?"

apparently our decision doesn't matter because he knows whats right for all of us, i guess.

love,

amber

p.s. -Even when we are forced to do some tough shit, there are things we can do to fix it.

dear dad,

i hope you know that you are shredding this family.

its just not going to ever be enough bad luck.

never.

why dont you care that you are destroying everyone?

Especially me.

the first real family ive ever been apart of,

and you fuck it all up.

you really piss me off.

love,

amber

Dear You,

Thank you for allowing me to become someone that I like much better.

my favorite thing about you is the faces that you make, and even the way you piss me off and then ten minutes later i realize i can never be mad at you.

So listen.

I tell you a lot, in fact, I let you know a lot more about who i am and what I do,

then anyone else.

But right now, I still kind of hate every day that passes since....

....well you know.

anyways, i'm far from stupid.

i guess it was just something that everyone does now.

do you understand what I'm trying to get through to you?

Do you get what I'm trying to ask?

If you don't then I guess here it goes:

People make mistakes.(?)

shit happens.

accidents (?) happen.

second thoughts circle my mind constantly.

So which one was it?

Ugh, but like I said, I could never be mad at you.

Not for long anyways.

Don't worry,

because I love you.

You are covered in stars to me.

Just remember...

where ever I was that night;

I'm a million miles away from that at this moment.

You really seem to confuse me.

Someday I hope this is worked out.

We, together, will figure out what that was about, and maybe, after all those years that passed me by thinking of that, maybe once I'll actually get a full nights sleep without wanting to go downstairs at four in the morning to smoke a cigarette.

And quite frankly, I am sick and tired of beginning my mornings at five just because I can't ever seem to get back to sleep all the way.

What I hate is all the god damn dreams I have about you.

You always find a way into my damn dreams, taunting me about how much you secretely can't stand me and think i'm a skankbag.

I hate dreams with you in it, at least the ones I can remember.

Even when I am in my dreams I wonder, while i'm dreaming, what the hell you are doing in my dreaming zone.

I can't think about you anymore.

For the past three months I have been doing more just trying not to think about you, then I do anything else.

Meaning, everyday you creep into my mind.

Everyday I have to avoid thinking about it.

Man, you piss me off

Love,

amber